Paying Dues (Ruby/Invite)

It was always difficult understanding the way someone could compartmentalize empathy and kindness. That some people were worth so much more than others. I was no saint, far from it, but I still found it difficult to accept the situation I was in, and how it made so much pragmatic sense to hold a view similar to what Ruby's sire did.

Humans were food. Only Kindred had value.

I couldn't accept that. As much as it would help me, as much as I could see why I should think like that, as much as Ruby said that was essentially what she believed, with some exception. I couldn't. My family was human. And, as much as I felt I owed Ruby, I still had every reason to distrust my other Kindred. Not that I did. But I had as much reason to distrust them as I did to distrust what this man, and this woman I likely owed my life to, dismissed as food or materials.

It was a good thing, then, that it was not something that truly needed to be discussed at present.

“Interesting. I don't share the position, but I can certainly see how you arrive at it. You and your sire have every reason to believe that way.”

I avoid speaking about my reasons for not agreeing. Foolish reasons. Sentimental reasons. Vainglorious reasons. Nothing that I cared to disclose to someone I thought I was getting along well with, and could certainly make my life in the Guild harder. If she pressed, perhaps I would. But I didn't want to.

I smile as she agrees to call me if personal business returns to her doorstep. “But of course. You certainly have enough on your plate, you don't need to clean garbage on top of it.” She was looking somewhat brighter. That was good. If making a promise like this could make someone I respect happy, then it goes without saying that I would do it. Keeping thoughts like this in my head helped. I wasn't working for someone like my Sire. I was working for me, and I was working for people I enjoyed being around. With any luck, I would continue to do so for a long time yet.

The fact that she professes an interest in my ramblings is enough that it would appear unnatural to withhold the laugh I wanted to do . “Oh? So it's weak of me to believe as I do, that there is an order to all this chaos? Well, perhaps I am. Perhaps I'm simply clutching to some driftwood, thinking that it's a mighty ship when I should just swim. I'll see how I feel in a few decades.” Having fun. Playing. This was something he truly missed...and he hadn't realized he'd missed it until just then. “And you are strong for believing as you do. There are a great many choices I would have done differently with present knowledge...And yet, they culminated with me among colleagues, with an eternity in front of me to research with. Perhaps I should thank my Sire the next time I see her.” I shake my head. “Or perhaps that's merely the driftwood speaking.”

As she professes her thanks, I reply in kind. “I'm glad. To be quite frank, I haven't enjoyed my time as much as I have now in a long while. The only time that came close was that potential breakthrough with my research into self-regenerative plasmids...but it's far too early to have anything conclusive to celebrate.” I shake my head. “I don't know why more of us don't take up an interest in it. It's not like we're short on time, and I find that it helps realign my thinking after focusing on a project for an extended period.”

Ruby's stance on the issue showed understanding and patience, and that was something of a comfort to me. Still...the fact that people could be this way, that anyone who lived and breathed as a human could treat them as little more than chattel once their situation changed...that the march of time could erode a common decency among beings...that scared me more than a little. It didn't change my respect for Ruby, but it did make it apparent that things needed to change. "Of course, Ruby. I couldn't possibly harbor ill-will towards you in regards to a personal stance like that...one I might end up becoming a hypocrite for in the future if I were to do so." Not able to completely hide my discomfort, I let out a sigh. "While I would prefer people's lives be afforded the respect that I feel it deserves...I'll be more than satisfied so long as no one acts wastefully or wantonly. Laughable, I'm aware." 

At her philosophical point, he had an easier time accepting her viewpoint, but there were still flaws that could be seen. "Oh? So an unflinching will can overcome with certainty the slings and arrows of adverse fortune? I'm not denying that hard work and perseverance will overcome a great many obstacles...but some things do reach the level of impossibility." My mind immediately flashes back to my own past...Ruby had accomplished her goal, and yet I could not. Was my will not enough? Or was my goal simply impossible? Perhaps that distinction was impossible to truly tell, but my mind wrankled at the thought of insufficiently wishing for the future with my family, newly forged in a magical rebirth. 

Then again, another path came up. Perhaps my future simply required more time than Ruby's did. That it was more windy than simply ending the lives of some assorted human filth. Again...who could know?

I shake my head. "It is easy to say that, Ruby, when one is looking back successful in that path. When one is stymied despite gambling one's body soul on the future you desired...well, I'm likely getting too personal. In any case, I find it quite likely that you are failing to consider the world around you in a way, that the results of your will engraved on the world being successful means everyone should be so fortunate if merely they believe and persevere hard enough. And perhaps I am doing the same, in the opposite fashion." I laugh. "Such is why philosophy is so enjoyable. I wish my brothers had enjoyed it as much...they quickly got frustrated with it. I am sorry to hear that it truly is uncommon among our kind, though it also makes me seem rather fortunate considering my present company."

Her inquiry into his research me shaking my head, clearly excited. "Not quite. It's essentially based on the spirit I'm contracted with. You see, unlike yourself, I'm bound to a spirit of nature. That functions more on the logic end of magic, applications to the rules of the world. While it's limiting in some respects, it also allows for functions that can have a more widespread effect." I calm myself slightly, no need to let excitement make me undignified. "Essentially, I seek to expand the natural regeneration all living beings has, and apply it directly to blood. While we are after the lingering life essence present in blood, humans on a basic level merely need an oxidizing agent carried in plasma. If I can apply the effects conceivable with Ravijojla's magic onto a base of artificial blood, that would drastically increase the survivability of people even after they've been drained dry by a vampire clearly out of his mind, and this would be without needing to see a generally taxed magical healer." I smile. "Not only that, but blood donation can obviously become both easier and less necessary." I shrug. "Perhaps it is a phase I will outgrow, but reducing the footprint I and others have on our birth species is still something of relevance to me...I hope you can forgive my childish squeamishness on the matter."

Her description of the negative facets of humanity and the poor way they'd treat each other had an uncomfortable ring of truth. It was, after all, undeniable. People were filth a great deal of the time, and I knew that if it wasn't his family that had acted that way, and it wasn't him that was the victim of it, I might have condemned their actions as barbarous instead of misguided and ignorant. The history of humanity had been long, bloody, and filled with the kinds of actions that Ravijojla would approve of, unending quest for dominancy and superiority. Erasing populations, propagating a tribe, hoarding women, ostracizing the weak, lame, and outsider. It all came from the very nature that he intended to use to better the prospect of these human animals.

"I could not have said it better than myself. Now if only you could embrace it, there might be some real progress in your future. Alas..."


Needless to say, he knew it was odd that he was going against the grain to act like a decent person to people who acted so barbarous, especially when, in comparison to them, more directly eased his day to day existence through available food. It was also true that death by Kiss was likely one of the absolute best ways to go, as the human would enjoy their final moments immensely and likely die very happy. Still, there was an inherent wrongness to it that I couldn't shake. "If I treated myt actions devouring people as valid and acceptable, how could I find any reason to right the injustice I suffered? Justice was not something that could be swayed so easily dropped and handed. Perhaps I might embrace such an attitude when I do find reason to divorce myself from humanity, but for the meantime, it is a give and take. I enjoy the ability to feel outraged, just as I enjoy the ability to feel satisfied. Perhaps that too is some way that I am all too human still."

Her statement that she was not finished surprised me. She had avenged herself on the people that wronged her. She had found her family, and had a stable, steady life. What more was there? The story she told me I found surprising. Perhaps I would have such extravagant, drawn-out goals when I was nearing a century in lifespan. But turning my life into a personal crusade was not something that appealed to me. Still, I would be polite: she was free aside from the Thirst, and could do as she wished. "That is true. You certainly aim high. I do not doubt that I will begin to stop living day to day, and live more decade to decade. However, I am not quite there yet."

Her call for a balance to things was laudable. He was happy to hear it. However, it was a little saddening as well. After all, it was a sweeping statement that required the older Vampires to be wise caretakers, and the younger vampires to not be brash and tempestuous. It was a dream that would likely not happen. However, it was a goal he could fight for. "Your words are kind, Ruby. I'lll keep them in mind. If people are willing to make the changes necessary to allow the arrangement, I would welcome it. However, I cannot imagine the average of the recently turned would be like me, and I cannot imagine the average of the longer-lived would be like you. Perhaps I'm unnecessarily wary." In the end, it didn't matter. He was Strigoi. He had his magic to hone, his skills to refine, and that was likely a goal that would last the entirety of his unlife. He would thrive and survive no matter what the climate was.

Her point was valid, but does slightly miss the point, I feel. "While it's hard to condemn the carnivores, it does miss a very key element. Animals do not think, beyond an extraordinary rudimentary sense. A cow does not have hopes or dreams. A pig does not wonder what his family will do with him gone." I was likely being obstinate at this point. Perhaps she was right. After all, animals hunted and killed animals all the time, and as Ravijojla liked reminding me, humans are merely just another animal in Gaia's domain. Again, it was likely that, once the centuries began to separate me from mankind, it would be different. But even after over two decades of unlife, humanity was still as familiar to him as if I had spent that time living and aging normally. I couldn't simply accept that those who kill and maim for no reason other than feeding preference should be given free reign...or at least, should act in such a way without concern for those they are harming. "In a very real sense, however, it is increasingly the world of humanity. It is their standard of justice that we will eventually be forced to contend with, I feel. Hopefully those who are used to the status quo of being higher up in the food chain can adapt, but I do think there will come a time when humanity loses patience. The status quo was on borrowed time since the end of the masquerade, regardless." Tossing aside the issue of morality, which I felt more than willing to concede, there was a very practical element for practicing vegetarianism, at least, I felt there was.

As she states something very much the same, though in reference to the very conflict between neonate and elder that was an immortal struggle for the Kindred, I find myself nodding. "And I'm willing to work towards that goal, without question. But it does require a willingness from the people who, to minds unwilling to fully consider the scope of the new circumstances, and being either caught up in the greed that comes with youth, or comfortably set in for centuries, there is every likelihood it will fail. I agree that it doesn't mean it isn't worth the effort, quite the opposite. I merely feel that it will be a long, slow, grinding process, finding a few who have the foresight to support it one at a time. And in all likelihood, those who do push it will be seen as upstart rabble-rousers." Sighing, he shakes his head. "I'm all for it happening, but I'd almost rather simply focus on practicing magic and letting things march ever closer to the time of reckoning that's inevitably pushing forward."